by Adam Mansbach
This is my favorite book of all time.*
*It's not really. It’s good – but it’s not better than Fight Club or anything. It’s just that I’m a new sleep-deprived dad. In just over 4 months, I’ve memorized more baby books than I care to admit and am able to work Goodnight Moon into the ending of each one. I know the exact angle I have to hold my sweet boy while jogging my leg at that perfect frequency while wearing a t-shirt that hasn’t been washed in weeks because he likes the way it smells. I don’t listen to talk radio because I like it; I listen to it because it's the only thing that makes the restrained kid drowsy. HaHa. It’s not funny…
...but these expletive-ridden verses are! My default gift for friends with kids, this is the storybook for exhausted parents. If you're an audio book nerd, be sure to check out the narrated version by Samuel L. Jackson (who was made for the role)!